Too Many Words Going Nowhere



“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” ― Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

 

I’ve always thought of myself as a writer. Hell, I even got myself an entire degree dedicated to telling other people’s stories( Journalism, in case anybody is wondering). I’ve always had a plot bunny or two in my head ready to build in my mind for long car rides back home. My welcome distractions, helping me keep away from boredom when my phone is dead or the internet has acted up.

Writing for myself has taken a backseat. I think that after years of academic papers and prompts, the burnout was real. The intentions for original creative writing was always there, but the dedication and effort of putting words on page made me draw up a blank.

I recently stumbled on a pack of old notebooks. Flipping through them, I expected to see a few math problems, maybe some sloppy handwriting, and a doodle or two.

Instead, I came face to face with what I thought, as a twelve year old girl, made up a good story. Pages and pages of handwritten character bios. Chapters of rising action and plot holes. Vampire fights! Lycan hybrids! I was well on my way to creating a wannabe rip off of Underworld. The story was carefree and reawakened hazy memories. I began to feel a certain nostalgia, the kind that fills your soul with an all consuming sorrow. I needed to write.

I’ve been floating in a weird existential void of sorts lately. Alternating between bouts of sleep, more sleep, and weirdly vivid dreams. I think the solution has been in front of me the entire time — or if not that, then at least a distraction to keep my mind busy.

So yeah…I guess what I’m trying to say is that I hope this can be a place where I do just that. Write. Instead of just existing in the void, I want to scream at it. I want to yell. And maybe, just maybe, it’ll give me a response back.

(Sidenote: I don’t really know how WordPress works, so hi? Hopefully I am doing this thing right.)

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#life #personal #words #blogging #writing